Once again pre-marital counseling class was great. The 2 hours flew by. Our instructor did a time check and no one would answer, after repeating the question someone finally told her after 9. No on mentioned that it was 10 after 9. She asked could she go longer. We all eagerly said yes, please do. We left after 9:30. What we are learning is great.
The class is really an eye opener and inspiring. We attend and leave feeling more confident and blessed about our commitment, and feel positive and encouraged about our choice.
I’m guessing a couple that might not need to marry might discover that fact through the class and if they don’t they may marry and have a great foundation to build a successful marriage.
A few weeks ago my guy told his mom and me that he believed God had sent me to him. I’ve been saying for a long time that my guy was born for me. Literally born for me because according to our birthdates, his parents conceived him a couple days after my birth. Yes I am marrying a younger man. I guess that’s Hollywood.
In last nights class we did temperament tests. The were 4 temperments. My guy was a doer and relator, I was influencer and thinker. We then discussed the strengths & weaknesses of each temperament and types of environments these temperaments did well in and what they sought to avoid.
We discussed strategies to complement each others temperament. One of the other couples had duel temperaments which created other complications but they were also given strategies on complementing each other.
We kept it biblical by reognizing that each person was designed by God and “God don’t make junk.” We recognized that it is not our place to try to change people, that only they can change themselves.
Since we can only control ourselves, the strategies gave ideas on how to maintain happiness when facing your partners natural dispositions.
One scenario was- you are married to a doer. You are having a dinner party scheduled to began at 6. Guests begin arriving early, but your mate is mowing the lawn. Doers are focused, they need to complete tasks and get the job done.
How do you respond? Tryin ang to get the doer to do something different, frustrates the doer. Getting in their way and attempting to prevent them also creates problems.
Someone responded that you greet the guests and allow the doer to complete his task. They were correct.
We understood that a real doer would have planned ahead, but the strategy of avoiding the conflict and supporting your partner was loud and clear.
Another couple were both doers and their strategy was to plan to have a 3rd person who liked to host available to meet and greet the guests, because it is inevitable that the doers will get wrapped up in tasks and be insensitive to guests. Doers also steam roll over people and seem insensitive in their goal to get the job done. But it isn’t personal.
We did scenarios for each temperament and discovered good ways to make sure everyone’s environment is enhanced.
My guy and I were pleased to discover the results of our temperant tests. Our weaknesses are the other persons strengths, and what we need to do to complement the other person are within our temperament patterns.