Some might find the idea of discussing planned expenditures with your spouse a bit much, but it can put you on notice of your own overspending and prevent you from entering a situation where you need two incomes. All of my ideas for one income living in marriage, require agreement by both people. It’s nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of and help keep you on track toward personal and couple goals. That is a perk of a budget meeting.
Our family has regular budget meetings. Nothing formal, we don’t follow Robert’s Rules of Order, but we talk about money stuff. We discuss what all the bills are, the amounts, irregular or unexpected expenses, the amount we will save, and current and future spending plans. We may set a new short term goal or target and we always end the meeting on the same page and updated. These meetings get a lot easier and briefer with time. It’s also nice to stay in sync financially.
We developed our strategy in part because my husband doesn’t use a checkbook register to balance (he keeps track in his head) and because I work better with it written out. When we began with the one pot system, we would have our money discussions and go over our expenses and decide how much we’d save and how much to spend. This worked well for us. He didn’t have to balance on paper and I got comfortable that his tracking system worked. I think this is why we still use the 1 pot, despite having 3 pots set up.
The budget meetings were especially beneficial (for me) when we became dual income. Since we had settled into the one income life, the extra income felt like a windfall. I got a bit careless with my spending. My thought was a bit like, “why not, we don’t need this money.” That is a dangerous frame of mind.
At one point I found myself spending $5 on 1/2 gallon container of milk. The milk was in glass bottle and I thought it was cute. That was just wasteful, but I felt comfortable because we didn’t need the “extra” money. There were other splurges and treats given to myself but our milk tends to go bad before we finish it, so that just shows the depths, the “extra” money mindset was leading me to.
When you take the time to tell your mate what you want to do, they can provide an objectivity you may lack. This doesn’t mean you have to discuss buying an extra pack of gum, but don’t operate as if you are married to yourself and your financial choices only affect you. The combination of desire plus the available cash can cause headiness. Don’t spend while drunk.
These seemingly small things add up quickly. The knowledge that you can afford it, is what can lead you to needing the 2nd income. I told my husband we were lucky I didn’t have an income when we moved because I may have been inspired to push for more than what one income could comfortably afford. I was really grateful for that early lesson. I was glad I was able to recieve it.
The other difficulty I found was the realization of the perks a second income could bring. I witness what our dual income friends acquire and occassionally ponder if we should consider enjoying the dual income lifestyle. We also live in L.A. which can eat money as a snack. I remind myself what our goals are and remind myself that freedom is our priority. Not only do we want to always be comfortable with one income, we need the financial flexibility to build our business and be free of the need to return to working for others to support our lifestyle.
Our family set up our budget meetings because we combined our income and expenses and operated mainly from one account. I suspect budget meetings could work for the variety of ways couples handle their finances. If the water bill is designated to one spouse the other spouse should still know what the amount is. They should be prepared in case someone gets kidnapped. People insure for death, but what if your spouse comes up missing. Insurance isn’t paying until the statutory timelime for presumption of death isn’t met. If couples have separate savings they should still be aware of what each spouse has.
Its great when your financial life can be shared. You got married (I guess) to share your life, money is a part of life. There is freedom in sharing and sometimes money can be the hardest yet most rewarding thing to share. Sharing also helps you stay on track in the one income lifestyle goal.
I realize some people feel the need to guard their funds from a spouse and a budget meeting might lead to conflict. You know better than I do who you are and who you married. Take what works and discard the rest.
P.S.
I asked hubster how we were able to live comfortably and even a bit pampered on one income, but since it wasn’t necessarily voluntary (because one income was all we had) and we had to make it work, we aren’t totally sure of what we did. He says living one income is easy. I will try to pick his brain and my own, so I can write about our choices and strategy.
I’m really considering writing a book about living on one income in a dual income world. Starting the book is easy, finishing will be the challenge. I guess I’ll attempt it from a personal story point of view, I think a “how to” would annoy me. I don’t want to write something, I’d be anoyed to read. This book might turn out to be a pamphlet. But it doesn’t need to be too long.
The book will be honest. I read an article in the Jan. issue of Black Enterprise. It spoke of a couple that had amassed quite a lot of money in real estate. I’m reading trying to see their strategy and saw that the husband inherited his house from his father plus two rental properties. The father was the person that needed to be interviewed. My book won’t present a facade.
Intro-
DINKS. Dual income no kids. Some of our peers get excited about becoming DINKS. We have bigger plans.
Prior to getting married we discussed finances and financial history, goals and habits. We agreed to save aggressively and reduce our expenses. We had planned to move into the guest house and rent the house out after marriage. We were planning to minimize. There were a few moments where I thought we should sell and move to the sexy neighborhood but good sense took hold. Good sense, plus our realization that the market would get soft and waiting would enable us to get similiar properties for much better prices.
We started our single income life with the wedding. I paid for it- well most of it. If we needed to start a joint account or have joint contributions to plan a single wedding, then to me and my mother we were spending too much. At one point, I settled a case and started getting foolish with the spending. I mean, it is such an important day and I want it to be really really nice. I want people to think ………… Okay, when I started moving away from what I wanted and began focusing on what I wanted people to think, I had to catch myself.
One of my cousins, told my mother to tell me to only serve cake at the wedding. That cousin had been married about 6 years now. She said no one was coming to eat or get full, they are there to share the day. I personally would enjoy a cake only wedding, but I’d already paid the caterer.
Our wedding was held in Oakland, Ca. near a holiday weekend, so while the amount we spent would probably be a down payment on a house in someplaces, it isn’t a downpayment in California. We actually had a fairly low cost wedding (for the Bay Area), no debt was incurred, no stress and no strife. No gifts needed but all are still appreciated.
The one income wedding was great preparation for a one income life. We learned to share money and make joint decisions with one pot of funds. We had to consider each other and agree. My husband wanted a band, I didn’t necessarily want one, but it was his wedding too.
When my godbrother got married, his wife wouldn’t let him have additional guests, she didn’t see the need of people who had known him growing up, but not related, being in attendance. His mother gave her the money for the additional guests. His side was small, her side was huge. Allowing things like that to occur is practice in not being able to live on one income. If you or your mate feel like you must fend for yourself, then a life on one income may become difficult.
When I found our ceremony musician he told me he had a band and would do the wedding free, if I hired the band. I had previously been trying to contract with a band but that offer worked out great for us. My husband didn’t have to fight for what he wanted, or pay extra on his own wedding, he could trust that even though the wedding funds were mostly from my savings, I was using them for our benefit. The band was fabulous and also entertainment. I hadn’t even given thought to a band being entertainment, especially while we were doing pictures. I’m still pleased about that decision.
We never planned a life on two incomes. We did plan to be the 3 pot family. All income would go in one pot, all expenses and savings would be paid, and an equal split of the remainder. I didn’t return to work until a few months after out wedding, so we were really living on one income. We discovered how being one income is not only doable but might save money.
My husband was spending nearly $10 a day on lunch and even breakfast. I ended that by making him breakfast and lunch. That saved $50 a week, plus the gas he was using to travel to get the food and go back to his office.
The benefit of being one income is that when my husband made the decision to enter the world of self-employment, he was able to do it because we weren’t tied to a life on two incomes. It’s also easier to save a year of living expenses when those expenses are based on one income.
Next Up: Starting Fresh and Our Strategy for Two Adults living on one income in a city like L.A.
This part may never materialze, but if I manage to write the pamphlet it will be in it.
