THE ART OF WAR

I’m really considering writing a book about living on one income in a dual income world. Starting the book is easy, finishing will be the challenge. I guess I’ll attempt it from a personal story point of view, I think a “how to” would annoy me. I don’t want to write something, I’d be anoyed to read. This book might turn out to be a pamphlet. But it doesn’t need to be too long.

The book will be honest. I read an article in the Jan. issue of Black Enterprise. It spoke of a couple that had amassed quite a lot of money in real estate. I’m reading trying to see their strategy and saw that the husband inherited his house from his father plus two rental properties. The father was the person that needed to be interviewed. My book won’t present a facade.

Intro-

DINKS. Dual income no kids. Some of our peers get excited about becoming DINKS. We have bigger plans.

Prior to getting married we discussed finances and financial history, goals and habits. We agreed to save aggressively and reduce our expenses. We had planned to move into the guest house and rent the house out after marriage. We were planning to minimize. There were a few moments where I thought we should sell and move to the sexy neighborhood but good sense took hold. Good sense, plus our realization that the market would get soft and waiting would enable us to get similiar properties for much better prices.

We started our single income life with the wedding. I paid for it- well most of it. If we needed to start a joint account or have joint contributions to plan a single wedding, then to me and my mother we were spending too much. At one point, I settled a case and started getting foolish with the spending. I mean, it is such an important day and I want it to be really really nice. I want people to think ………… Okay, when I started moving away from what I wanted and began focusing on what I wanted people to think, I had to catch myself.

One of my cousins, told my mother to tell me to only serve cake at the wedding. That cousin had been married about 6 years now. She said no one was coming to eat or get full, they are there to share the day. I personally would enjoy a cake only wedding, but I’d already paid the caterer.

Our wedding was held in Oakland, Ca. near a holiday weekend, so while the amount we spent would probably be a down payment on a house in someplaces, it isn’t a downpayment in California. We actually had a fairly low cost wedding (for the Bay Area), no debt was incurred, no stress and no strife. No gifts needed but all are still appreciated.

The one income wedding was great preparation for a one income life. We learned to share money and make joint decisions with one pot of funds. We had to consider each other and agree. My husband wanted a band, I didn’t necessarily want one, but it was his wedding too.

When my godbrother got married, his wife wouldn’t let him have additional guests, she didn’t see the need of people who had known him growing up, but not related, being in attendance. His mother gave her the money for the additional guests. His side was small, her side was huge. Allowing things like that to occur is practice in not being able to live on one income. If you or your mate feel like you must fend for yourself, then a life on one income may become difficult.

When I found our ceremony musician he told me he had a band and would do the wedding free, if I hired the band. I had previously been trying to contract with a band but that offer worked out great for us. My husband didn’t have to fight for what he wanted, or pay extra on his own wedding, he could trust that even though the wedding funds were mostly from my savings, I was using them for our benefit. The band was fabulous and also entertainment. I hadn’t even given thought to a band being entertainment, especially while we were doing pictures. I’m still pleased about that decision.

We never planned a life on two incomes. We did plan to be the 3 pot family. All income would go in one pot, all expenses and savings would be paid, and an equal split of the remainder. I didn’t return to work until a few months after out wedding, so we were really living on one income. We discovered how being one income is not only doable but might save money.

My husband was spending nearly $10 a day on lunch and even breakfast. I ended that by making him breakfast and lunch. That saved $50 a week, plus the gas he was using to travel to get the food and go back to his office.

The benefit of being one income is that when my husband made the decision to enter the world of self-employment, he was able to do it because we weren’t tied to a life on two incomes. It’s also easier to save a year of living expenses when those expenses are based on one income.

Next Up: Starting Fresh and Our Strategy for Two Adults living on one income in a city like L.A.

This part may never materialze, but if I manage to write the pamphlet it will be in it.