Some might find the idea of discussing planned expenditures with your spouse a bit much, but it can put you on notice of your own overspending and prevent you from entering a situation where you need two incomes. All of my ideas for one income living in marriage, require agreement by both people. It’s nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of and help keep you on track toward personal and couple goals. That is a perk of a budget meeting.
Our family has regular budget meetings. Nothing formal, we don’t follow Robert’s Rules of Order, but we talk about money stuff. We discuss what all the bills are, the amounts, irregular or unexpected expenses, the amount we will save, and current and future spending plans. We may set a new short term goal or target and we always end the meeting on the same page and updated. These meetings get a lot easier and briefer with time. It’s also nice to stay in sync financially.
We developed our strategy in part because my husband doesn’t use a checkbook register to balance (he keeps track in his head) and because I work better with it written out. When we began with the one pot system, we would have our money discussions and go over our expenses and decide how much we’d save and how much to spend. This worked well for us. He didn’t have to balance on paper and I got comfortable that his tracking system worked. I think this is why we still use the 1 pot, despite having 3 pots set up.
The budget meetings were especially beneficial (for me) when we became dual income. Since we had settled into the one income life, the extra income felt like a windfall. I got a bit careless with my spending. My thought was a bit like, “why not, we don’t need this money.” That is a dangerous frame of mind.
At one point I found myself spending $5 on 1/2 gallon container of milk. The milk was in glass bottle and I thought it was cute. That was just wasteful, but I felt comfortable because we didn’t need the “extra” money. There were other splurges and treats given to myself but our milk tends to go bad before we finish it, so that just shows the depths, the “extra” money mindset was leading me to.
When you take the time to tell your mate what you want to do, they can provide an objectivity you may lack. This doesn’t mean you have to discuss buying an extra pack of gum, but don’t operate as if you are married to yourself and your financial choices only affect you. The combination of desire plus the available cash can cause headiness. Don’t spend while drunk.
These seemingly small things add up quickly. The knowledge that you can afford it, is what can lead you to needing the 2nd income. I told my husband we were lucky I didn’t have an income when we moved because I may have been inspired to push for more than what one income could comfortably afford. I was really grateful for that early lesson. I was glad I was able to recieve it.
The other difficulty I found was the realization of the perks a second income could bring. I witness what our dual income friends acquire and occassionally ponder if we should consider enjoying the dual income lifestyle. We also live in L.A. which can eat money as a snack. I remind myself what our goals are and remind myself that freedom is our priority. Not only do we want to always be comfortable with one income, we need the financial flexibility to build our business and be free of the need to return to working for others to support our lifestyle.
Our family set up our budget meetings because we combined our income and expenses and operated mainly from one account. I suspect budget meetings could work for the variety of ways couples handle their finances. If the water bill is designated to one spouse the other spouse should still know what the amount is. They should be prepared in case someone gets kidnapped. People insure for death, but what if your spouse comes up missing. Insurance isn’t paying until the statutory timelime for presumption of death isn’t met. If couples have separate savings they should still be aware of what each spouse has.
Its great when your financial life can be shared. You got married (I guess) to share your life, money is a part of life. There is freedom in sharing and sometimes money can be the hardest yet most rewarding thing to share. Sharing also helps you stay on track in the one income lifestyle goal.
I realize some people feel the need to guard their funds from a spouse and a budget meeting might lead to conflict. You know better than I do who you are and who you married. Take what works and discard the rest.
P.S.
I asked hubster how we were able to live comfortably and even a bit pampered on one income, but since it wasn’t necessarily voluntary (because one income was all we had) and we had to make it work, we aren’t totally sure of what we did. He says living one income is easy. I will try to pick his brain and my own, so I can write about our choices and strategy.