THE ART OF WAR

A few months after our wedding, and a bit before our move, I got 3 books. A big black book, a green book (me) and a blue book (Mr A.) The black was for household/family expense, the other books were to keep track of who our doctors are, business and other necessary contacts and notes.

I wanted to start off organized. It has worked very well since it was implemented.

In our black book is everything that takes our money each month. I considered using my financial software . I love love this software but since we don’t share a computer and Mr. A. doesn’t like to use my Mac and I don’t like to use his laptop, and I wanted our financial stuff to be easily accessible to both of us, I put it in a book.

I’ve always been self-employed and automatic payment doesn’t work for the way I need to manage my money. After we married, I cancelled all but one of Mr. A’s auto pay set ups. The 1 that was left was his internet provider and I got a reduced monthly charge for that service. Now we (really I because I’m the money manager) just open the book, go down the list of who has a claim to our cash each month, then we pay and write down the conf. number and amount paid. This is good for my recordkeeping purposes. If someone were to say something wasn’t paid, I can look to the month and get the confirmation number and amount paid.

We don’t seperate our personal and household expenses so its all in the book. It works well for us because we each have a total picture of where our money is going. We also have at a glance everything we need to track. He knows (if he wants to look) what I have going on and I know what he has going on.

My system works well for me, I can handle everything quickly. I tried to use an excel file someone built for me, but I work better with paper and pen. I’m open to ways to improve our money management system, and I regularly ponder ways to make it better. I just need it to be accessible on paper ( not a print out) and handwritten. Mr. A. works well with his pocket pc and excel files but I still use a paper calendar book, so if the info is on a computerized device, then I’m likely to miss it. I prefer opening a book and writing in it over opening a file on the computer and typing things into it.

My 20-something year old cousin and one of her girlfriends hosted a birthday party for themselves at a karaoke spot in L.A. The owners were apprehensive about allowing her to have the party there because they weren’t sure what type of crowd she would bring. My cousin showed up with a lot of her sorors, coworkers, friends, and Mr. A and me. I think everybody bought more than one drink.

They turned the place into a place of fun. Everyone was singing the songs, a bit of dancing and much socializing. Some old Lakers were in the place and told the owners they enjoyed themselves. They stayed, had birthday cake and bought lots of drinks. Turns out a lot of the people that were there would have left much earlier- had it not been for my cousin and her friends.

The owner asked my cousin if she would come and bring her friends once a month. My cousin said sure because she likes to have fun and the location is in the middle of where she and her various groups of friends live. She also negotiated terms that would provide her with more than drinks and free chicken.

There are benefits for all, the owners will sell more drinks on weeknights and attract a mixed crowd that is the type they want to attract, my cousin will get side income and her friends will have a new spot to hang out and enjoy.

It’s great when you can make money doing something you enjoy so much you would pay to do.

L.A. bloggers will be receiving an email notifying you of the location. There is no cover.

Two Grown Folks- One Income- In the City Tip:

Identify and pursue enjoyable opportunities with low costs of entry, minimal time committments and minimal risk of loss.

Do not allow the limitations of others to limit you. You CAN!

Where ever you go, there you are. Right next to you is an opportunity. The decision to reach for the moon and risk falling amongst the stars is personal. There are many risks, someone might come along and shake the ladder, fierce winds might blow, it may storm, you climb so high and the higher you go the harder you realize the fall will be if you lose balance. Those are the times drive kicks in, those are the times you reassess if want you want is worth the challenge. Is this your passion?

My mother always told us that we could do whatever we wanted to do and be what we wanted to be, where ever we were. I took that to heart. I took that to mean I can succeed anywhere I am and in any situation. Hard does not mean impossible. It means the field won’t be crowded. I’m not adverse to struggle, if the goal is worth it. I enjoy and grow during the challenge. It is during the challenge that I develop the skills and lessons to do well in my position.

I have the opportunity and ability to live the life of my dreams and if I don’t live those dreams it’s on me, and not to be blamed on what is going on around me. The limitations of others are not my limitations. It just means I need a better strategy. The timing of others is not my timing. This is my journey, I must live it to my satisfaction.

Mr. A’s friend had 2 clothing stores in a location that got great foot traffic. One of the stores was for women, the other was for men. The stores were next door to each other. The men’s store did horrible business, while the women’s store did great business. The buyer for the mens store was purchasing clothes that didn’t suit the demographic of the foot traffic. The men’s store also kept hours that missed the heaviest business times. It would have been easy for the owner to say the location as the problem but he didn’t. He realized that his strategy was out of wack and that his efforts needed improvement.

It is wise to have a marketing strategy and determine if similiar establishments have failed in similiar or the same locations, but you can’t end there. Sometimes the business practices previously used might be the problem, you have to research to find out. The failure of those in the past does not speak failure for me. It may be an indication of difficulty but not impossibility.

I see opportunity all the time. Every opportunity isn’t something I want to pursue but I can see it. I went to the Garment District and saw an opportunity. Everytime I pass the jewelry district I see opportunity. The opportunity to resell on Ebay, the cost of entry is low, the time commitment is minimal, the risk of loss is also minimal. At the worst I’d have clothes to give away and a tax deductible business loss.

I’ve pondered doing that, and haven’t totally given up the idea. I could do the shopping, post the pics but the packaging and mailing is where I’d break down. I have a NWT (new with tags) Tahari Suit I might list and see what happens. Finding an opportunity in something you enjoy is key, if you don’t enjoy it or find fulfillment in the task, it is just a job. The greater the passion, the greater the drive to reach your goal. We can find fulfillment in our professions and careers.

Mr. A and I went to an RFP meeting last week. We realized the project wasn’t suited to our business. We try not to waste moments so we left the meeting with a couple of new opportunities. We went there to get something and we got something.

The setting sun casts its reflection upon the water, turning the sky into a bluish-orange work of art. The light of the day meets the darkness of the night and the blue of the ocean- we are given a gift. Whether you live on top of the hill or the bottom, the gift is to all who wish to behold. I never tire of watching the sun set over the ocean. That purplish color is amazing to me- its relaxing, peaceful and eases me into a reflective mood.

It’s rare that I purposely watch the sun set over the water, I usually find myself driving to or from home and as I’m travelling I appreciate it. I saw this scene almost daily when I was in Oakland because the bulk of the landscape (I travelled in) was in the hills overlooking the water.

I find beauty in most areas. In Central CA. as horrible as I imagine it is to live there, I find beauty in the fields. I enjoy those hot nights. I love the smell of the onions growing in the fields. Nearly everytime we drive through the Central part of this state, I take photos of the orchards and fields, uninterrupted by city landscapes and dotted with ranches and pastures. I enjoy the vastness of the area, it’s all so beautiful. When I travel to the Wine Country I am in awe of the lush greenery. The atmosphere that makes me feel like I’ve been transported to a rural green state. My brother told me I needed to drive through TN and see the red rolling valleys. He said it is like nothing we’ve seen and it is amazing to view when the sun is setting over it.

There is something everywhere to be appreciated. I try to appreciate it now, before developers destroy it and build unimaginative cookie cutter dwellings. My mom often tells me what California used look like and her descriptions are so vivid I feel like I saw it when it was as she first knew it.

I like to take photos to hold onto the beauty that exists in nature. Mr. A also enjoys the wonder that exists in natural landscapes and we regularly take drives and then relax and enjoy the gifts of nature. When we take early morning trips, we always appreciate the beauty of the day and give thanks for what we have been given to gaze upon. Enjoying the beauty of your area is pretty inexpensive and very relaxing, gas and the cost to pack a picnic are the main costs.

Writing this makes me want to visit the Getty this week, look at the art and have a picnic. The only costs will be gas and parking- as the fabulous Getty is free. I’m a major romantic so the artwork and color created by sunsets, the whistle of the ocean, the gently lapping sounds of a lake, the whisper of blowing trees, singing of birds, drum beats of squirrels racing by, the soft breeze of the wind brushing my body, all feed my spirit of romance. It calms me and makes me grateful.

The best things in life are free.

I can’t remember what we were paying for gym memberships, but its been awhile since we had them.

We now hit the great outdoors to get our fresh air and exercise. We reside in a neighborhood great for runners/joggers/walkers. There is a nice little park and not a lot of car traffic so we can run and exercise freely. We do have to watch for other runners/walkers.

When I used to go to the gym I disliked the treadmill because I felt like a lab rat running and getting nowhere. I was always cautious with the equipment I used because I didn’t want to end up with that stairmaster booty. I enjoy the physiques natural exercise develops, the gym equipment should be a supplement IMO. Gym equipment seems to focus on specific muscles and if you aren’t very careful- i.e. have a trainer, its easy to get the gym body. Am I the only one that notices a difference in an athletes physique and a gym body?

We save gym fees, travel time and gas by working out in the neighborhood. We get outdoors where our feet take us somewhere and where we can breathe the real air (we run early before the smog sets in). When I lived in the Bay Area a gym was a a bit of a neccessity because I didn’t have anyone to run with. Wild cats have been spotted in my Oakland neighborhood, and I’m not willing to risk it. My mom and I used to have great fun and get good exercise walking up the hill and around the neighborhood, but my feet wanted to run. My mother might walk fast but she wasn’t willing to run up those hills. Since she lost me as walking partner, she put a treadmill on her backyard patio. She doesn’t get to travel on her walks, but she does get to exercise outside.

I miss those morning walks, but I enjoy running with Mr. A. We mix in various exercises with our running. We will do squats going up the hill. Mr. A. will give me a head start running up and he will drop and do push ups and then start his run. It requires creativity to get all the muscles, change up the exercise routine, and maintain good cardio, so it stays fun and interesting.

I’ve noticed that most cities in CA. have parks designed for running and those parks have areas where the city builds in equipment so you can stop and do exercises. They even have pictures of the exercises that can be done at each point. I’d imagine other cities do similiar things and its just a matter of locating those parks.

We did our own version of a cost-benefit analysis and determined that the gym could go. I wouldn’t suggest cancelling gym memberships in places that get super hot, humid or cold. No need saving a few dollars to just to get heat stroke or frost bite. Gyms are also a good place to socialize and I wouldn’t recommend a woman go running alone. The gym can be better even if the result is a gym body.

Around Memorial Day, Mr. A (my husband’s name on this blog- I may think of a better name later) and I went to a bar-b-que hosted by his frat. I met a young woman who is in the movie industry- she makes them, she doesn’t act in them. Being into the arts she is knowledgeable about different events going on in the area.

She shared this great site with me and as true gifts keep giving, I’m sharing the link with ya’ll. If you live in Vegas, NYC, Chicago, L.A., the Bay Area, San Jose, San Diego, Orange County, or Boston this link has discount and sometimes free tickets for all forms of art, many shopping events, cocktail boat trips, dancing, spas and more. The great thing about this site is it also provides listings of the many activities occuring in your area. It is free to join and I get a $1 credit for all who sign up using this link.

Mr. A., the woman who gave me this link, her husband (Mr. A’s frat) and I are scheduled to go to a musical event this weekend. We got tickets off the site- at a great discount. The couple we are going with are both in the entertainment industry, the husband is a writer. Those professions occasionally spend portions of time unemployed, so they are more likely to budget like we do, meaning they won’t suggest we have a $400 dinner prior to the main event.

We often go out with our older friends/family that own their own businesses who recall what starting a business was like. Because they are established, when they invite us out for $1000 excursions or $400 meals, we know and they know, they are footing the bill. In those situations we do pick up the inexpensive items, like drinks, parking, cover charges, and/or green fees.

Around Father’s Day, a childhood friend of Mr. A’s invited him on an 2-day ocean fishing trip. The trip was that same day. The cost was something like $1000 per person. Mr. A. paid a portion of that and offered his friend’s father some free business services to pay for the rest. Mr. A. is like the 3rd son to his friend’s father, so the father would have been fine if Mr. A. paid nothing, but why pay nothing when you have skills?

The next week, Mr. A. went to do the free work and the friends father was so impressed that he hired our company to do more work. The father owns 6 fast food franchises and some other businesses. He is also the president of the franchise group in So. Cal and will be taking Mr. A. to the next meeting and telling the other owners how Mr. A. has helped increase his business efficiency and that they should hire our firm.

Sometimes you may not have the money to play with the monied but that doesn’t have to eliminate you from being in the game. You have something to offer. Offer it. Mr. A. also made us a new set of couple friends while on the trip. The husband of the new couple is newly self-employed and the wife is a reporter for a national news group. They live just a few miles away from us, which is nice if we ever wanted to visit or meet up.

Most of our same aged friends are self-employed like us. Having a group of friends all striving toward similiar goals and facing similiar challenges, makes things nicer. It is also a great network. One of Mr. A’s friends is some sort of film tech at a studio. When we got our projector and screen, that friend brought out his equipment, and helped Mr. A. set it up. We had been getting crazy expensive set up quotes from private companies. We paid his friend a couple hundred dollars and save a whole lot of cash. On occassion - when filming in our neighborhood- that friend has invited us to watch tapings of videos. That’s like a free personal mini concert. We get lots of offers for free or low cost entertainment, which is another benefit of city living. We also have friends in diverse fields, who are connected to various things and regularly invite us to them, that also makes this a cheaper place to live.

We have access to free movie passes at The Grove. We’re equi-distant from Magic Johnson Theatre which is cheap and The Grove, which is pretty expensive for movies. The Grove has HD screens and when we saw Oceans 13, the wrinkles in Brad Pitt were just frightening. I don’t think I’m ready for HD movies. I love the Grove, so unless we are feeling a desire to see a movie with our people (because there are some movies where half the fun is the experience of hearing folks that have already seen it 4 times and have it memorized say the lines, or say “go head girl” “whoooo hoooooo” “umph”) we go to the Grove for an inexpensive/free afternoon or evening out.

You don’t have to be wealthy to enjoy what big cities offer, you just have to be active and get to know people. People are interesting. I love talking to (most) new people and finding out where they are from, what they do, and how they chose to do it. I learn so much. One good thing about a big city- its easy to find people who have an interesting story or a dream they are pursuing or some interesting profession. It pays to be social and being social is free.

You may have noticed that I abandoned this blog. No more mushy stuff.

I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to “One Income-Two Grown Folks- in the City.” There are so many decisions that make it possible to live on one income. I think I’ll share them. I’m determined to write this book and I think blogging might assist me in that pursuit.

I’m sure the stories of how two folks decide to share one income will be interesting so even if you aren’t a PF blogger, or someone interested in the finances of others (I know I ain’t) it might still prove interesting.

Heads up- I will be putting ads on this blog. I’ve been perusing them and they say that you can’t request that your readers click on them. Well I don’t have any ads up and I’m notifying ya’ll now- when you see and ad, click on it.

You might be wondering how we are one income with both of us working. We’re both self-employed and starting new businesses here in L.A. If we lived somewhere cheaper it might resemble a dual income, but this is L.A.- so it resembles a single income.

Stay tuned- for One Income-Two Grown Folks- in the City.

It’s ridiculous, its unfair, it just ain’t right, how easy it is to push folks buttons. I wouldn’t let someone know I’d read and became upset by their words- not even in an attempt to “call them out.”

I should become a flute player because I just played a certain aspiring yet elderly film maker like a FLUTE!! The one that controls your emotions controls YOU!!

I hope she makes her films in the backwoods of wherever, because if she could jump into my obvious snare with both eyes open, she won’t have a chance of making it in a city with a population over 10.

HA HA HA!!

So simple, far too simple. The simpleness of the conquest actually deprived me of some of the pleasure. I require a worthy opponent. Everybody ain’t hood, some of them are country. She certainly ain’t no Southern Belle. Whether she is ghettohood or ghetto country the reaction will be the same.

Let the games began while I grab my strings. The strings I use to control the moves of my puppet.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

P.S. White folks are mushy (press your finger in their arm and watch it leave a mark) and while I don’t have the stomach to look at one, I’m sure a white mans penis is pink.