THE ART OF WAR

I’ve always been a mover and a shaker.

I’m moving back to where I started from. http://Call2arms.blogspot.com. Reading through my archives made me smile. I started blogging when Mr. A. and I started dating and I moved over here a few months afte we got engaged. It’s great to look back on those memories.

As wonderful as I felt and blogged about the Mr. as a boyfriend and fiance, he’s even greater as a husband. Life is great and blogspot is quite the user friendly place these days.

Holla

My little cousin/maid of honor/soror/ is in med school (I just wanted to say that- because I’m so proud of her) in a city where black folks are a bit scarce. She was feeling a bit blue about the lack of men who appreciated a girl with melanin. She went to a dinner one evening and met a cutie who seemed to know what to do.

Long story-short, this fool keeps texting her and she has told him to stop because she doesn’t pay for the service. She told him to contact her after 7 p.m. and only by calling. He is costing her money. I told her to send him a bill.

It made me reminisce on the time a lawyer kept faxing me huge amounts of paper. One night he sent over 25 pages and I had to unplug the fax because the stuff kept coming. I called him and left a very heated message telling him to stop that. We did not have an agreement to fax things. When I saw him the next day I made him write me a check for $10 for wasting my paper and ink.

Sometimes people just need a bill. Texting, faxing and iming -even blogging- and much of this technology is supposed to be a convenience - not a way to eliminate communication. People are just losing their grip. Was the purpose of technology to make an already impersonal world even more impersonale?

When I was drafting my goals post a few days ago, one of the items was to stop spending money to represent people. As much as I like and want to help people I cannot do it if it costs me money I have no chance of getting back. I am learning and implementing this lesson.

I recently acquired a new client. She needed me to do a particular thing which I agreed to do on contingency. Then a related issue cropped up and I told her I would help her with that but she needed to pay my expenses. See I didn’t tell her to pay my fees, I said pay my expense- BIG difference.

Because I love what I do- I don’t mind doing it for free. I prefer getting paid but if I don’t get paid I won’t curse anyone out. I will want to curse if I have to spend money. This isn’t just a hobby- it’s work, my livelihood.

I explained to this client that I would need her to send my roundtrip airfare and other expenses to come to court. She agreed. Then as time got closer I had Mr. A. call her to discuss the money. She started acting confused.

It’s best to have someone else handle the collections because it doesn’t affect my relationship with the client. It’s hard to be worker/employee on one hand and debt collector/enforcer on the other. You want your clients to feel you are on their side and money confrontations can sometimes affect how they feel about you. My brother told me about this strategy.

Mr. A. does the phone calls and my mother does the letters. Don’t play with my momma ya’ll because she will sell your account to a debt collector or sue you. It doesn’t even matter if you are family, she don’t play that “we family.” Family should pay family what they owe.

Back to the business- so I did some work for this client and did not attach my name to it. I emailed it to her and told her to sign it and file it. Putting my name on stuff is how I usually end up stuck. Had I put my name on it, I would have had to purchase my own tickets and show up in court- upset because I was paying to work for free.

I told her that I’d come the day of it she sent payment. I even offered to assist her with her trial preparation. I can have my helpful spirit but not incur expenses to assist.

I’m feeling good that I’m getting better about anticipating how these things will work out and not getting myself attached to stuff that will make me lose money.

In other things I’ve been accepted to be on a panel of attorneys to provide services to my target clientele. When I worked for the firm I noticed that about 1/2 of its cases came from this source. I’ll only take about 2 a time so as not to be overwhelmed. One of my other goals was a monthly income goal. Getting on this panel means I’ll likely exceed that goal.

I am discovering that money only seems like a lot when other people are making it. There were times just a few years ago that I worked a case a full year to make what I’m making now in 2 months. Instead of me thinking wow that’s a lot, all I’m thinking is ….dang I wasn’t getting nothing before. It just does not feel like as much as I thought it would feel like when I envisioned it. Instead of being all excited I’m focusing on how much taxes we’ll owe.

I hope I don’t become some greedy ol’ scrooge that tries to squeeze blood out of pennies and get high off how much is saved. Maybe its because I’m aging. I probably need to pray.

I was writing my list of goals and I had about 10 of them and the reasons why they were on my goal list. I managed to delete a chunk of the first few and decided to take a moment to rethink them.

Most of them were centered about business. I love what I do and I’m anticipating the growth of our businesses. There was the goal to enjoy shopping which isn’t business but just enjoying what life and designers have to offer. Last year I was looking forward to this moment. I was anticipating when we’d be working on our businesses full time and the income from them would sustain us. Now I’m in that moment and here I am- not really enjoying or even noticing the accomplishment because I’m focused on the next thing.

My main goal (after I thought about all using today to plan for tomorrow and using tomorrow to plan for the next day) is not to rush myself and to enjoy each moment. To accept each moment for the lesson and the enjoyment it brings. It’s so easy to live in anticipation of what you expect in the future. It’s good to have a plan and I have one but I just really want to enjoy the milliseconds and not live today for what I’m expecting tomorrow.

It’s sorta like being pregnant and instead of enjoying the months of the pregnancy (I imagine there is enjoyment in an expanding belly) you spend then entire 10 months mentally fast forwarding and living for the babies arrival. The time flies by and you haven’t really gotten a chance to enjoy the new life being formed.

Well….. I want to enjoy the present moments of my life. We’ve all heard that the present is a gift- I want to treat it as such.

I wouldn’t do work now if the only enjoyment I got from the work was anticipating what I can buy when its over. I want to enjoy the work, gain some fulfillment and energy from the work and feel my pay at the end is an additional bonus.

My goal is to slow down, smell the roses, be still and watch the sun rise, be still and watch the sun set and remember that ‘right now’ has meaning.

My goal is to slow my thinking. I will not allow my mind to rush my present moments in anticipation of the moment I want to get to. The moment I am in, is the moment I wanted to get to and since I’m in that moment, I owe it to myself and I owe it to God to appreciate the present. I’m going to be more grateful.

We were in the Bay Area this weekend for an Art Party, hosted by a few of the men in my family. My brother organized the event and it was held at the home of one of my male cousins. Everyone who came bought at least 1 to 2 pieces of art and my girlfriend did good business.

My cousin and his wife have a business together. He’s been in business for himself for over 18 years, his wife just recently joined him. She handles the marketing aspect. They have 4 children ranging from ages 14 to 4.

They bought their newly built waterfront home a few years ago and are renting out their first home. I’m always confident that the expense of the Bay Area will no have impact on how comfortable we are -it just encourages us to be better business people- but it feels great to see a family flourishing by doing the same things we are pursuing.

Being self-employed isn’t the most secure thing, especially when you are just beginning. We’ve been extremely blessed since we started and things are rapidly improving and becoming more secure and growing.

We get energized by challenges, we are confident in our ability to make things happen, and we aren’t seduced by what the Jones’ family has going on- these things allow us to thrive in our pursuits.

My goal is to post about my goals for 2007 eoy and 2008. One of my goals is buying fabulous new outfits. I’m excited about making the list.

Have a blessed week!

Somehow part of this post deleted- so here I go again

I wonder if God is insulted when we don’t trust him. Is he insulted during those times when he has sent His Word but we doubt him and take our direction from what the people near us say or think?

I’ve been handling a matter for my mother. After spending some time researching the issues, I came up with what was the best and quickest solution for the matter. My mother was rushing me and holding my pay until I completed the job. I took my time doing the research and since she was rushing me, I asked her to file the document once it was complete. I would have waited until my next weekday trip to Oakland but- she wanted it done A.S.A.P.

I wanted my former assistant to file the thing because he is familiar with filing things and I knew what would happen to my mother if the clerks acted like they sometimes act. When you give some clerks something unfamiliar they shut down, refuse to file it, tell you that you need to do something different and they confuse you. I knew my mother would leave if the clerk said no and call me up like I’d failed to do something.

I spoke to my former assisant and he was all set to go. I just needed to telephone my mother and work out the details. I was unable to call him back though because of the robbery.

On Friday, Mr. A apprehended a robber. I’ll try to post more on that story later. I’ve blogged before about Mr. A being a West Point Grad, and having training in lots and lots of stuff. It feels great to have my own protector, who is actually trained. Military trained and inner city L.A. training. He can hand out a military style formal beat down or a hood style a** whipping.

After dealing with the police and the neighbors I didn’t have time to get my mother and former assistant together so I had to give my mom a pep talk to get the stuff filed.

I had told mom’s not to take no for an answer and she asked me if I wanted her to jump on the counter or something and demand they file it. I had asked my brother to go with her because I knew he’d make it happen, but he’s preparing for our party this weekend and couldn’t go. My typical strategy is to stay at the clerks desk and keep asking questions until they figure out what to do. My mother not being familiar with the content of the document or the law under which I produced that document, could only say okay when the clerk told her it couldn’t be filed.

My mother had called me when she was on her way to the clerks office. I called her a while later and she was leaving the clerks office. They had told her she couldn’t file it. I convinced her to go back. She told me the clerk had spoken to her supervisor and her supervisor also said no it could not be filed. I told my mother that I know the law and she needed to be firm. I knew it was correct.

She went back and let me speak with the clerk. After speaking with the clerk for a while, I asked her to check her manual more thoroughly. She did and she finally found the rules for what I was trying to get filed. This took a while but usually when you are patient with the clerks it all works out. The clerk and I went through the guidelines, she was still saying no and trying to point out why the document wasn’t good. I had to encourage her to finish reading each sentence. She finally realized she could file it, she sent my mother to a nearby notary and voila its done. My mother then put the money in my account. JOY!

My mother isn’t really my client, the commerical property she owns is my client and since I’m her child she probably has to be a bit more demanding. She is very controlled when she is spending business money. She is always a demanding in regards to the work but if its personal money she doesn’t make me wait to get paid. She conducts business differently, her motto is from the bible “in business be men.” It doesn’t matter if you’re doing business with a female, a child, a saint, a man, or a relative, be men. Keep business matters business matters.

Back to the title of the post. I had told my mother that what I gave her was good and acceptable for filing but she left in reliance on what the clerk said. It makes sense why she’d trust the clerk, the clerk is there everyday, she does this everyday, she seems to know what she is speaking of. The clerk even has the apparent authority to say no and say what document is not appropriate for filing.

Sometimes I might ask God for something and he’ll send direction. He’ll send His Word or he’ll send the thing I’m asking for. Eventhough I know God has the ability, eventhough I know his track record, I will trust the word of the person telling me it can’t happen. I will trust the negative word of the apparent authority and back off even though I know I’ve gotten a higher approval.

This situation has caused me to recognize how I sometimes interact with God. That I sometime choose the word of people who are limited to operating under specific guidelines and whose knowledge is limited. I know God’s Word for me, I know that he has organized everything and has made the way for me but if I don’t stand firm I can’t get what is already prepared for me.

Fortunately for me, God will keep sending me back to the place to get what is mine. Just like I sent my mother back to get what was hers. Just as my mother stood there while I talked to the clerk, God will speak up for me when I feel like I can’t speak up for myself. When I don’t feel equipped to fight the battle, he will fight for me. All I have to do is stand.

Sheeple. People who are led like sheep. I’m learning that some bloggers are sheeple. Some are down right cult dwellers.

I had thought bloggers were just people looking for some entertainment in the middle of a workday, but clearly some folks are looking for a life line, permission to feel okay about who they are. A leader who tells them they are acceptable.

I understand people like to have a sense of belonging, but what I’m witnessing in parts of blogland has to be unhealthy. It’s scary to realize how crazy people are. How easily led. I’m guessing some folks who are socially inept in real life, can feel accepted in cyber world and they like belonging to something.

I’ve heard on a few ocassions that Jonestown- led by Jim Jones- was part of a government experiment. You have to wonder why the government would allow welfare checks to be shipped to Guyana. The experiement was to see how easily people would join a cult.

Well who knew you could lead people over the internet and through a blog? People assume they wouldn’t have drunk the kool-aid in Jonestown, but it doesn’t start with the poison drink, it begins with small agreements, small promises, small assurances by the leader and trusting that the leader would never lead you in the wrong direction.

The need to belong is also what makes the cult dwellers dangerous. They are willing to do whatever to maintain that feeling of belonging. Sometimes its best to be okay as an individual and not only as a member of a group/clique/cult.

While I like my money in lump sums its nice to have multiple small checks come every month. It’s amazing how fast small amounts can get together and be large amounts. Large enough to live on. I feel like a credit card company. When you are self-employed those streams will keep you going.

I don’t really have any tips on how one acquires these streams. Most of mine come from clients that waited until trial to tell me they couldn’t pay me in full. Judges never let me off before trial so I end up stuck. I know I need to get bigger retainers, but I hate holding folks money and having to account for it. Every month we have many different streams. His streams are a bit more consistent and timely than my own. I wonder if people feel like a man needs his money more than a woman. Maybe I need to be more agressive and utilize team B.A.N.K. (break a ***** knees).

Just this week I sent an email reminding someone that I hadn’t recieved one of my checks and they reminded me that I have another larger one coming as well. It’s amazing but when you put yourself out and let people know your value they will come back and send others and your streams will multiply.

One way we are working on developing consistent streams is by giving discounted hourly rates for clients that keep us on retainer. So far all our clients have declined. I suspect they will attempt to put us on retainer when they need us, but they are smoking if they think that will happen.

Years ago a group of ministers tried to have me set up a pre-paid legal system. I had volunteered to help them with a problem the individual churches were having with the city and they were pleased. There were about 30 of them and they wanted to pay me about $70 each per month. I was in my early twenties and it sounded good, especially since I was living home rent free. From the minimal contact I’d had with them I knew they’d be calling me two to three times a day. They were already calling me once a day. I declined. One of my friends was selling prepaid legal and I put them in contact with her.

Every dollar ain’t worth the price it costs to make it. Some streams have terrible undercurrents that will pull you under.

HAVE A JOYFUL FRIDAY AND A LOVELY WEEKEND!

I’m not sure how I broke my blog. I guess I was right.

One afternoon I had to drop Mr. A off at practice because I needed to use the car for a quick errand. The poor planning of a witness in one of my cases caused me to have to make a spur of the moment trip to the post office. I digress. As we were driving, Mr. A. looked over and saw one of the other coaches. He gestured to the guy and we drove into a neighborhood and he got in the car with the coach. This is humongous L.A. The city not a suburb. There are 6 or more different ways to get to the same place from whatever place. The odds of being in the same place with someone going to your same place, at the same time and who does not live near you is rare. Whoo hooo. I handled my errand and was home in time to kick back and catch Oprah.

That same day as I drove to another destination, every light was green. I didn’t quite know where I was going so I was a bit concerned that I might miss the street I was to turn on. I caught one red light and it happened to be the street I needed to turn on. Other things occured that made me reflect on timing.

When I picked up Mr. A. that afternoon, I told him about how that day had been full of good timing. Even that morning, I had case I was stressing about and Mr. A. told me to call the people and discuss settlement. Not 5 minutes after he said that, they called me and told me they wanted to discuss settlement. Timing, I was already in that frame of mind.

Last week I did a search for one of my high school girlfriends. I found her. The day I found her is the day she needed me- an attorney. I was able to help her. She was like, how did you find me on the day I needed help? She has referred 2 new clients to me and this is a good time, because I’m ready. I’m in ‘go’ mode.

Earlier this week I was telling Mr. A. that I wished I’d started my L.A. operation sooner because I’d be that much further. He reminded me that everything has a time. As I thought about it I realized that my timing was well. I started because I wanted to, I was ready to and I was inspired to. For me there is nothing better than beginning a project when I am ready and wanting to. I can rush things, but I do better when I’m ready.

While effort and preserverance is neccessary to achieve business success, often timing and being ready and in position can propel a thing that may not have worked just one moment prior.

When I get my first seven figure check, (middle class money here in CA.) it won’t be because I’m so fabulous (even though I am) it will be because of timing. The actions of other folks that caused me to be in certain places and my being ready, willing and able to capture the opportunity that existed at that time. I can actually trace the events and the actions of people that put me in position to be where I needed and wanted to be. I didn’t allow the behavior of others to change my course. I kept moving forward and my forward movement coupled with others (attempted harmful) behavior made me able to capture my blessings.

Isn’t it great when folks try to cause you trouble, and you keep moving, and you can look back and realize they helped you arrive at the spot you needed to be to receive your blessing?